This post is really kind of a pitty party for me, myself, and I just to get all of this off my chest so if you don't want to read that's totally cool just move right a long... This past week has been SO hard to the point where I honestly want to have a meltdown every day and most likely have.. It started out I was feeling really dizzy... and crappy. But I just need to explain what this kind of dizzy feels like.. It's not the kind where you stand up and your like whoo i'm a little light headed. It feels like my entire body is shutting down, it's hard to breathe, my heart pounds I get really hot and everything is turns fuzzy and I absolutely have to lay down or I will pass out. It's quite scary. In fact it gives me TONS of anxiety because I have to worry about it every single day and it really starts to wear on me. So the next day I had a regular Dr appointment and I was telling him about it and he put me on a heart monitor for 24 hrs which totally sucked I'm not gonna lie sleeping with this belt thing was not great. Anyway my heart rate just goes up for no reason sometimes and my body works over-time. Hopefully it will go away after the baby comes. But with this and all of the other pregnancy crap ya deal with at the end heartburn, nausea, tiredness, being uncomfortable, being nervous about becoming a parent.... I just honestly feel like I cannot do this anymore and I can't handle it i'm sick of it.. and when I try to explain it to other people I feel like they think I'm just being dramatic but its real people! Then when I say I want him to come early the looks and opinions I get are unreal i'm like alright you don't deal with this everyday and most people have never even heard of it. So that makes it worse... so I am SO ready for this to be over so I can feel like myself again and be able to have my baby here I am dying for him to just get here I want to meet him so bad and can't wait for the happiness that he gets to bring with him and for all of this to be over it has been so hard.
One happy note I am dilated to a 1 and 80% effaced which is really good for only being 35 weeks I am so excited about that I really am praying for him to come early.. Call me awful but really I don't care :)
2 comments:
hey dani, last person you expected I know. I am really honestly sorry to hear this. It makes me really sad. Hang in there, I dont judge you and I think I would feel the exact thing. Praying for you and baby brooksen! ( love the name fyi ) good luck lady!
Dani you are not being dramatic at all! I was put on bedrest the last few weeks and it sucked! If people think you are being dramatic they have had easy pregnancies! You are doing great hang in there! :D
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